Thanksgiving is a state of mind, not place. Even prisoners can be thankful, if not for being prisoners, then perhaps just for the art of being itself.
I hope you’ve read “The True Story of Thanksgiving” posted here last week. If not, there’s still time before stuffing your turkey for this annual American feast. I would be thankful if you would Tweet, ping, or e-mail a link to that post. It’s a really neat story about giving thanks. We end up thanking Squanto for suffering so unjustly at the hands of others, and, in spite of his grief, for becoming a man willing to lend a hand TO others. It’s an example about how the part of our journey we regret the most may end up, with grace, being the source of our thanksgiving. It’s mind boggling, but just imagine the plight of the famous Mayflower Pilgrims without Squanto.
Then imagine Squanto without the suffering and sacrifice with which history has redefined him. Squanto, saved by the Pope and some priests, likely baptized a Catholic, then placed in the service of … Puritans?! History is such a strange thing. And as I mentioned in “At the Twilight’s Last Gleaming,” two weeks ago, imagine how those Puritans would roll in their graves if they now heard of Squanto’s dalliance with the very Catholic faith that they traversed an ocean to get away from.
I’m not quite ready to give thanks just yet for this 17th Thanksgiving in the hoosegow. But writing this post did make me wonder about the origin of “hoosegow.” The local cable system here carries American Movie Classics (AMC) which broadcasts old westerns on most Saturday mornings. I love John Wayne movies, especially the later ones. It might have been in one of those that I heard Walter Brennan (who, by the way, is from my hometown!) playing a cranky old deputy sheriff.
I can even now hear Walter Brennan threatening to throw someone in the “hoosegow.” Hoosegow has an interesting origin. It comes from the phonetic pronunciation of a Spanish word, “Juzgado,” meaning “courtroom.” It’s the past participle of “juzgar,” which in turn came from the Latin “iudicare,” (pronounced, “you-dee-CAR-eh) meaning “judge.” Since judges send people to jail, “juzgado” came to refer to jails and prisons. Then, in the slang of border towns in the American Old West, it became “hoosegow.” So now you know the origin of the word, hoosegow. Don’t thank me just yet!
Here in the hoosegow, like everywhere else in the U.S., we’re about to mark Thanksgiving. I wouldn’t use “celebrate” to describe how prisoners observe this, or any, holiday. On the whole, prisoners don’t really celebrate much. But even here most can find something to be thankful for. I found such a moment a few weeks ago. I’ll even go so far as to say I celebrated it.
The Earth’s journey around our Sun brings about the inevitable changing seasons beyond these stone walls. I’ve journeyed “Fifty-seven Times Around the Sun,” as I wrote last April, but most of the fallen citizens around me barely notice the changing world. We venture outside each day among asphalt and steel and high concrete walls with little evidence of the march of time and the change of seasons. The “Field of Dreams” – the prison ballfield and the only place with trees in sight – closed for the year two months ago. The only leaves I see now are the very few that the wind carries over the high prison wall which consumes my view of the world.
One day late last month, I turned a corner outside on the long, concrete ramp winding its way up to the prison mess halls. I looked up to discover a spot I never noticed before.
It was a place amid the concrete and steel that afforded a momentary glimpse of a tree-covered hill in the distance beyond the walls, and the setting sun had fallen upon that very spot. For a moment, the hill was clothed in a blaze of glory with an explosion of fall color. It was magnificent! I felt a bit like Dorothy Gale, stepping for the first time out of the gray gloom of her Kansas home into the startling glory of the Land of Oz.
Prisoners are not permitted to stop while moving from Point A to Point B, but in two more steps, or a few more seconds, the view would be gone. So I nudged Pornchai and Joseph who were walking with me, and we all stared for a moment in awe. We froze in our tracks for those seconds, risking a guttural shout of “KEEP MOVING!” from one of the guards posted along this via dolorosa.
There was a guard right at that spot, poised to bellow, but then he followed our gaze and he, too, gawked for a moment, keeping his shout to himself. We moved on up the ramp amid all the downcast eyes around us, but saw no evidence that anyone else noticed that scene of radiant beauty beyond these stone walls. I thanked God in silence for nudging me to look up just then. It was proof that a moment of giving thanks presents itself every day, even in this awful place. Those moments will be passed by unnoticed if I am so consumed with my grief that I fail to look up and out beyond these stone walls. I have to look up to see. I have to keep my eyes opened, and focus somewhere beyond just me.
I look up at that spot every day now, but the color has faded to a barren gloom, just like life here – or anywhere else – can if I let it. I’ve learned from Squanto of The Dawn Land that even the worst plight affords an opportunity for thanksgiving. We mustn’t let those moments pass by unnoticed for our very souls depend on them.
I despise this place of captivity where so many of the days given to me have been spent. Really spent! Yet on Thanksgiving Day, Pornchai, and Donald, and Joseph, and Skooter-with-a-K, and others who walk with us each day, will all try to find a few seats together in the prison chow hall. There, as we have done on too many Thanksgiving Days before, we will give thanks for turkey, for an annual piece of pumpkin pie, for friendship found even in the ruins of lives broken and dreams delayed, for laughter in the face of pain, and especially for the gift of bearing one anothers’ burdens with thanks for the graces given to us.
In a sea of downcast eyes, furtive glances, and foul speech seldom rising above talk of gangs, and drugs, and the exploitation of others, Pornchai shows off his Saint Maximilian medal, and speaks of salvation and sacrifice and the privilege of being Catholic in a truly destitute public square.
In the end, I’m left with no choice. Thank you, Lord, for this day.
Happy Thanksgiving, no matter where you are, no matter how you’ve been. May the Lord bless you and keep you. May He show His countenance to you, and give you peace.
Mary Fran says
To you who are starved for a glimpse of nature: I send you warm spring greetings. Of course, I’m not sure you are in spring yet. My brother-in-law who lives in Maine says they just had ice a couple weeks ago when we were mowing our lawn here in Delaware for the first time. You make me grateful for what I take for granted so many days. We are foolish to count on things always being the way they are now. Last summer, when the one lone rose bush (the only one that has survived along our driveway) put out its fragrant blossoms, I always got out of the car and walked over to sniff them before coming into the house, thinking that I’d better take advantage of them while the plant was still blooming. A good plan at the time. That plant is now dead. I see only a couple shoots coming out of the bottom of the dead stalks. I will probably never again smell the roses in our yard.
Thank you, Fr. Gordon, for providing an oasis in the wasteland in which you live. A place of refuge, a place of nurture, a place of healing and hope.
Even though you “despise that place of captivity where so many of the days given to you have been spent”, I know that the men who have gravitated to you are thankful that you are sharing captivity with them. You have given them hope and a chance for a new life in Jesus. Your crown will be glorious, a prize well worth waiting for.
I think of you when I pray that prayer for priests, especially the part that says,” Bless their labors with abundant fruit, and may the souls to whom they have ministered be here below their joy and consolation and in Heaven their beautiful and everlasting crown.”
With many prayers and the deepest respect
Kathy says
Thank you so much Fr. McRae. I appreciate your writings and your thoughtfulness. I pray you peace, love and some joy in the midst of the desolation that prison must be. Oh, but I see the good that you are doing for Jesus even though wrongly accused. My Prayers are with you. God Bless you and your friends in what has become a Holy Place.
Lovingly in Christ Jesus,
Kathy Geiger
LaVerm says
Since I had been on vacation, I was late in reading this Thanksgiving Blog, but found it so VERY uplifting. How fortunate the prisoners in your Unit are, Father Gordon. Your love and caring ministry certainly came out in Pornchai’s comments. You have been a tremendous influence in his, and I am sure, other prisoner’s lives. Thanks so much for sharing and opening our eyes to a greater understanding of our fellow men hidden away in prisons. I am a better person for the friendship that you and Pornchai have shared with me. You and P are in my prayers, and thoughts daily. How I wish the prison system would make it easier for us to shed a little more happiness into your lives, but until rules change, I will have to be satisfied doing what little is permitted. When the day seems blue, please remember that you are loved!
Barb Schoeneberger says
Thanks be to God that you had that moment of beauty. God’s way of showing you and the others that He has not forgotten you.
Today I wrote a reflection on Psalm 46 – “The Lord of hosts is with us; our stronghold is the God of Jacob.” Your life like none other shows us that no matter where we are, He is with us. God bless you, Father.
Patricia says
Thanks be to God for you Fr. Gordon and Pornchai.
You lift us up and give us the courage to persevere in this broken world. Most of my family are coming today for dinner and sad to say only one of them is a practicing Catholic. I will continue to email/facebook and any way I can your posts. Thanks for being a light in this darkness….
I have a beautiful Holycard of St. Maximilian Kolbe in my “Jesus Room” (as my granddaughter calls it). I pray for you both first thing when I walk in that room in the am. All the comments are so great today…
Patricia Heb 13:3
Bishop Pius says
Hello Fr.Gordon
Thank you for reminding us that we ought to be thankful-perhaps smile- never mind our predicaments.Your voice gives hope to a world lost without Christ.
May the Lord continue to shine on and through you this Thanksgiving festival.
Frank Dias says
Father Gordon, know that we are in constant prayers for your release but God knows and i know he will be mercifull..
Thanks for your light it surely does shine past those walls onto many homes that are in prayer for you..
Frank and Mary
Esther says
Thank you Father! People have thanked me for sharing the last week’s post with them. But they really should thank you.
As for the hoosegow. I always got a kick out of that word. Actually, I like using it instead of “jail” :-). Being Hispanic, you would think I would have known the origin of it. Thanks for sharing it with us.
I want to let you know that I often share your posts with friends. Then, because I am busy, I forget about who I emailed. I am often surprised to find out they have not forgotten. In fact, one friend from here, emailed me specifically to ask me how you were doing; had I heard anything. I took the opportunity to ask him to pray for you intentions regarding the appeal. He has been praying for you ever since I first shared your story with him, way in the beginning. I forget how long it’s been.
Well, Happy Thanksgiving to you Father, Pornchai, et al.
Msgr. Michael says
Dear Fr. Gordon,
Thank you again for your wonderful post. You truly are an inspiration for us priests. As a Canadian I say ‘ditto’ to what Father Gérald LaJeunesse wrote !
Blessings on you on this Thanksgiving Day !
Faith says
God is good. The one and only time I have ever seen a double rainbow was through the bars in Cedar Junction. The maximum security prison in Walpole, MA. I was visiting and judging a Toastmaster’s Contest, which I might add, the prisoners take very seriously. They did an excellent job.
Bernadette says
Dear Father – I was moved by your description of being able to see the setting sun and so pleased you had that uplifting experience and were able to share it with Pornchai too. How sad the others were too downcast to notice.
I was reminded of an occasion on my first visit to Lourdes in 2005. The torchlight procession had finished and we were all arriving in front of the basilica. Thunder and lightning had echoed round the surrounding mountains and the rain had poured down throughout the ceremony. We were all drenched but nobody minded.
Then the ‘Salve Regina’ was sung and being up near the front I was curious to see the size of the crowd behind and I turned round. At that moment the rain stopped, the sky cleared revealing the setting sun, and there making a perfect arc over the crowned statue of Our Lady was a magnificent rainbow. It was such a beautiful moment but no one else seemed to follow my gaze. I stood there transfixed marvelling at God’s handiwork.
I wish you and Pornchai a happy thanksgiving day – keep looking up.
Bernadette McK
Bernadette Lothian says
Thank you Fr. Gordon and Pornchai for the wonderful posts. This latest brought me to tears.
I look forward to my e-mails from you.They help me to be greatful for my freedom, especially the great outdoors.
I keep you both in my prayers. Bernadette
Michael Brandon says
Dear Father Gordon:
Once again, you have written poignantly in a way that should remind us all that we have much to be thankful for today, and every day of our lives.
Your faith inspires this Canadian to celebrate another day of Thanksgiving, and to thank God not only for what I see with my eyes, but for your faith that inspires me to seek Him. It also reminds me of the importance of a prayer that I have been praying lately as follows:
“Drain Me of Me
Father, I am so full of myself. I know that if I truly wish to serve you, if I truly wish to share your word and your love, this must not be the way.
And so today, Father, I ask you: Drain me of me
Of all the self-inflated ego: Drain me
Of all the harsh judgement that comes so easily: Drain me
Of all jealousy and resentment: Drain me
Of all the desire for attention and adulation: Drain me
Of all attachment to the flesh: Drain me
Of all that is not of you: Drain me
And when I am emptied, unencumbered by the stuff and nonsense of the world, no longer weighed down by the heaviness and burdens put upon me by myself or the dark forces of the evil one, fill me with your Spirit, for your Spirit has no chains, your Spirit recognizes no boundaries, your Spirit is lightness and light, your Spirit allows me to soar as on eagle’s wings.
And so, Father, right now, this moment I give you permission to Drain me of me, that I may be more like you, through your Son, Jesus Christ, in the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen. ”
Here, once again are my deeper thoughts on what you mean to my journey of faith.
http://freethroughtruth.blogspot.com/2010/11/giving-thanks.html
God Bless You
Michael Brandon
Helen says
Fr. Gordon…
I saw a movie today, on EWTN, “The Man Who Became Pope”.
Our beloved John Paul II is sorely missed. He was a saint, I beleive…as I’m sure, many others do, too. I don’t know about anyone else, but that movie makes me cry from beginning to end. I loved that man…. I am so proud of him… He makes me proud to be Catholic…… He was courageous…loving, faithful, honest, and bold. Not many like him in this world, that I’ve ever met, Fr. Gordon…. maybe except for…”YOU”!!
God bless You… and keep You in His Most Sacred Heart to protect and keep You..until Your release. Thank You for working with His Holy Spirit… every time I read Your articles…
I cry from beginning to end… I want so much to help You.
Happy Thanksgiving…and thank You for making mine so much more thankful than others, in the past. You are a miracle to behold, and I’m blessed to witness it!
In His Heart,
Helen
Jeannie Ash says
Oh Pornchai and Donald,
This was a wonderful article and I truly give thanks for God giving Father Gordon the grace to reach out as he has from a place that most of us don’t understand and dread.
However, your letters are those that nudged the numbness that was lodged today in my heart. As I prayed I knew it was one of THOSE days when the rosary is said, but the angelic hosannas, and the feeling of being levitated to a place where I am half of earth and half of Heaven, wasn’t in the cards. I was thankful to last night have had that experience as I said the rosary in the midst of an overburdened highway, but this morning’s rosary prayer was an exercise in distraction.
You two stopped me and helped me check my deluge of unimportant thoughts and worry. You two made me remember the miracle that is our faith, the wealth of union that we share and the amazing feat of God that can summon love for two people I may never meet, but whose lives I can pray be daily filled more and more with a grace that allows them to see reality in that half earth, half Heaven state, with the two of you realizing that just as you give thanks for Father Gordon and the grace that has brought him to you, in outreach, you too have a no less important role touching those that you may never know you touched. It might be within a day or it might be at t he crucial point of leaving this earth when your faith and the grace of gifts God gave you made all the difference for them.
With my heart and soul, God grant you peace and bless you.
With love,
Jeannie
Connie says
Dear Fr. Gordon.
Thank you for your inspirational posts. This blog has been a blessing to me during my 1st year back “home” in The Church.
As always you are in my personal prayers daily and in my families prayers.
Thank you for your obedience and faithfullness as you endure the most unfair and difficult times of your life. I believe there will be a time whe you ar exonerated and celebrating Mass openly and freely. I pray for that day.
May you be blessed this Thanksgiving as abundantly as you have blessed others.
Karin says
Thank you for this reminder to be thankful in and for everything, Father.
A blessed Thanksgiving to you, Pornchai, Joseph, Skooter and all the men there.
Continued prayer for all of you.
Gérald C. LaJeunesse says
Gordon
I’ve been reading your posts diligently and have found inspiration from your words (and on occasion, Americana to which, as a Canadian, I would never have been exposed!) Thanksgiving in Canada is celebrated the 2nd Monday of October as you know and so for me it’s unusual to reflect on it again this year. But then it’s the giving thanks that’s important, much more than the celebration whatever shape or form it may take, and it’s something to do every day. So tomorrow (your Thanksgiving) at 09:00 mass, I’ll be giving thanks for having met you those 20 years ago and a bit, for the occasional letters we’ve exchanged over the years, for your courage, for TSW where I can have of yours news every week, and very particularly for you.
Amitiés et bénédictions
Gérald, ptre
Mary says
What a wonderfully uplifting post with equally uplifting comments from the other posters
I give thanks for having found this site. God really does weave such beauty and truly gives life to the very stones. Deo Gratias
Donald Spinner says
I read the enclosed meditation in the Magnificat on November 14, and it so reminded me of Father Gordon. He is very humble, and, of course, he does not agree with me as usual, but nonetheless, I wanted to share this with his readers to show them how Father Gordon is regarded by many prisoners, including me. From the Magnificat, November 14, 2010, from Day by Day:
“They will persecute you”
“No, I was not helpless or worthless or useless in that prison
at Perm. I was not terribly humiliated because I was rejected
as a priest. These men around me were suffering, they needed
help. They needed someone to listen to them with sympathy,
someone to comfort them, someone to give them courage to
carry on. They needed someone who was not feeling sorry for
himself but who could truly share in their sorrow. They needed
someone who was not looking for consolation but who could
console…”
Father Walter J. Ciszek, S.J.
That “someone” for us is Father Gordon.
Donald Spinner
Pornchai Moontri says
This is Pornchai, and I have asked Charlene to please post this comment for me as it is very important. I have been in prison for a long, long time, and never had very much to be thankful for. This year is very different and today I had to sit down and make a list. I have been thinking about this list all week because now I am thankful for so many things.
First of all I am thankful for having met Father G, aka “The Olde Baldy,” as one of my ships was named after him. He has helped me turn my life around. Before I met Father G I can honestly say that I was a lost soul. Now I know what it’s like to love God and to know that I am loved by God and to have faith in God. It changed everything. I know that God knows what is best for me and for all of us. Father G is the main reason why I became a Catholic this year. I see his faith; I see the love he has for God, for the Church, for the people, and especially the ones that are broken. He really is a bright light in this very dark place. I am so thankful to him and to God.
I am also very thankful for Charlene and Pierre, my Godparents. I feel that I have been truly blessed by God to have them as my Godparents. They have shown me what unconditional love really is, and I have seen it for the first time, and it has a very deep impact on me. They are the best Godparents anyone could ever want or ask for! They always want what is best for me. They have made me so happy!
I am thankful for LaVerne West. She has been a very good friend to me and to Father G. She doesn’t care that we are prisoners. She has shown us love and concern and what it takes to be a good friend to someone you really care about!
I am thankful for Dr. Jim Gusek and his family. They have reached out to me and have shown me how to see the good in people. I always see them helping the less fortunate. Dr. Gusek and his son just came back from performing eye surgery on so many blind people in Ethiopia. They are true believers, and they have influenced me so much. I have learned from them to lead by example, and to try to leave this world in a better place than when I came into it.
I am thankful for all the TSW readers. I am thankful for all your support and love and the prayers you have shown us. I am thankful that you have shown me what it means to be a true believer and a devout and faithful Catholic. You have shown me that the world is filled with truly great people.
I am thankful to my aunt and uncle, Jim and Jeanne, for their patience, love and support. They have always tried to be a positive influence in my life, and I see that now and I am thankful to them.
With love and blessings,
Pornchai
Kathy says
God Bless you Pornchai. I thank God that you have come to know him and for the beautiful way you write and carve and build ships. God Bless. Kathy Geiger