A new battle in spiritual warfare; a new catastrophe behind these stone walls. Hope was at the brink as a Patron Saint spoke to broken hearts: “Behold your Mother!”
“We fly to thy protection O holy Mother of God. Despise not our petitions in our necessities, but deliver us from all danger, O ever glorious and blessed Virgin.” (Sub Tuum Praesiduum, 250 A.D.)
I usually try to shield readers from the darker realities of prison, but in 2016 I wrote a rare post entitled “Hebrews 13:3: Writing Just This Side of the Gates of Hell.” I presumed wrongly that most readers would not want to know about what really happens in the shadowy background behind These Stone Walls, but that post turned out to be among the most read and shared of the year. The wildly popular site, SpiritDaily.com featured that post, and sent readers to it by the thousands.
Of all the posts that I thought might get Spirit Daily’s attention that one came as a total surprise. It was an eye-opener for many about just how bad a few bad days in prison can be. We lived in another place then, under far more trying circumstances. Violence and treachery were daily events there, and the constant vigilance needed to cope with them took a mental and spiritual toll.
We were delivered from that place two years ago. I had been confined there for 23 years, and my friend, Pornchai Moontri was there for twelve years after having spent thirteen years in another prison, including seven in that prison’s solitary confinement. I described the relative freedom of the place to which we were moved, and our arduous path to get there, in “Pornchai Moontri at a Crossroads Behind These Stone Walls.”
We hoped this new place would be free of the drug culture and the violence and shady deals it spawns, but this is still prison. There has been less of it, for sure, but it is always lurking in the background. Complicating this, I was warned recently by a spiritually astute reader who told me of a troubling dream. In it, I became a target of the Evil One and the snares with which he engages in spiritual warfare.
There was a time when I may not have taken such a dream seriously. That time has long since passed. To tell you the story that I must convey to you now requires that I include our most recent round of spiritual battle that took us once again into darkness. Brace yourselves, for this account brought us to the very brink of ruin.
On Saturday, July 20, 2019, at 8:30 PM, Pornchai Moontri walked out of our cell, as he does every night at that time, for the trek outside and down eight flights of stairs for med-call. At that time, prisoners line up in the dark to enter an office two at a time for prescribed medications. You may recall that Pornchai takes meds at night to treat PTSD and to inhibit nightmares. But they could not prevent the nightmare about to unfold.
It was 100 degrees Fahrenheit in Concord, New Hampshire that night. The frayed nerves of an already unstable balance among prisoners had begun to unravel. I was on a telephone call on my GTL tablet up in our cell while Pornchai waited patiently in line for his medications down below. Fifteen minutes after he left the cell in which I now write this, someone walked in and handed me a scribbled note with four ominous words: “Pornchai is being lugged.”
THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE… MAYBE
“Being lugged” is prison-speak for being taken away in restraints to solitary confinement. If you know of Pornchai and his history, this had shocking reverberations. I quickly ended my call and went down below to find out what I could – which was not much. All I heard was a collection of muddled stories and conflicting accounts about a quick but brutal outburst of violence.
The initial story – the one told first and loudest – is too often the one that prevails. That story was that Pornchai violently assaulted two prisoners, sending one to the hospital. I was told that Pornchai may never be back. Two hours later, at 10:30 PM, officers showed up in our cell with bags. They asked me to pack all of Pornchai’s belongings and bring them down to the office for inventory – a sure sign that he may not be returning.
I cannot convey in words what that night was like. After thirteen years as Pornchai’s roommate – thirteen years of pulling him, in his own words, “out of a deep dark pit” and rebuilding a shattered life – all was wiped out in an instant. I was determined, however, to find out the real story and get at the truth. But in prison, “truth” is often clouded by dark agendas, gang ties, and identity politics at their worst.
Sunday brought another day of 100-degree heat. After a sleepless night pondering what could have happened, I approached the unit Sergeant at 7:00 AM. I knew that if he filled the empty bunk in my cell, as would usually happen, then Pornchai could never return. There was a lot at stake. Many had just labored for years to bring about the elusive restorative justice that Australian attorney Clare Farr described in these pages: “When Justice Came to Pornchai Moontri, Mercy Followed.”
I asked the Unit Sergeant if he would wait two days to reassign Pornchai’s bunk until we could discover exactly what took place. He said he would leave the bunk empty until Wednesday – three days away – while he investigates the story told by the two “victims.” Fortunately, he and other dedicated prison staff members did not immediately buy the story as told. Their knowledge and experience of Pornchai did not support what they were first told.
Meanwhile, over the next three days, Pornchai languished in intense heat and sleepless solitary confinement. He was unable to communicate or to learn anything at all. He kept running what happened through his mind, wondering what he could have done differently. As the hours in solitary stretched interminably, his hope began to fray.
The immensity of loss began to weigh heavily as he fought against despair. This was the setback of all setbacks for him. He knew and trusted that I would be working on it, but he also knew that prison imposes grave limitations. He began to pray, asking his Patron Saint, Maximilian Kolbe, for guidance and the preservation of hope. As time wore on, however, darkness enveloped him.
Pornchai could not know that the real story slowly unfolded as several more reliable witnesses were summoned to give statements. Then staff had the tedious job of reviewing camera footage and other evidence to corroborate them. This is what was learned:
As Pornchai stood in line that night, just as his turn to enter the door to retrieve his medications was coming up, two prisoners rushed up on either side of him and cut into the line in front of him. He politely asked them to go to the end of the line, telling them that this is unfair to him and to all the prisoners waiting in line. The two then turned on him in hostile confrontation.
Not knowing Pornchai at all, one claimed to be an “ex Golden Gloves boxer” and then threatened Pornchai to stay out of their way. The second wasn’t waiting for a reply. He delivered two violent blows to Pornchai’s face. In a split second, Pornchai’s instincts for self-defense – and they are formidable – kicked in. The man who delivered the blows was delivered to the ground while “Mr. Golden Gloves” ran away.
It turned out that the two of them had devised a plan to attempt to retrieve and sell their prescribed drugs to help pay off their mounting debts for contraband Street drugs. It’s a process common in prison – or at least attempting it is common. Their plan required that they provide cover for each other to distract the person dispensing the meds.
They would then tuck the medication capsule into a cheek, and then pretend they swallowed it only to retrieve it for sale once out of view of security staff. Carrying out this plan meant having to present themselves for meds at the same time, and that meant cutting in line.
NOW COMES A PATRON SAINT
The man who delivered the one-two punch into Pornchai’s face was taken to a hospital where he was found to have multiple injuries. As is protocol for such events in prison, the last man standing was presumed to be the aggressor and was taken away in restraints for a stint in solitary confinement. “Mr Golden Gloves” ran to his cell where he concocted a story about the out-of-control Asian who violently attacked them unprovoked. The truth slowly unfolded.
I commend the professionalism of officers here who did not jump to conclusions. It turned out that most of the real assailant’s injuries were the result of multiple other fights that he had been in. This is the stock in trade of the illicit drug scene in prison. But even after all of this became known by Monday night, I was still being told that Pornchai would not be returning.
So on that night, I did the only thing left to do. The one item of Pornchai’s that I had not packed, but held onto for safekeeping, was the St. Maximilian Rosary made for him by TSW reader Kathleen Riney in Texas. So once again facing a sleepless night, I spent it in prayer for Pornchai, asking his namesake, Saint Maximilian Kolbe, for his intercession.
As he always does, he reminded me early on Tuesday morning that I had neglected something. As I awoke at 5:00 AM after just an hour or two of fitful sleep, my first thought was that I should pray the Memorare. I imagined Saint Maximilian himself praying that same prayer in his final hours on the morning of August 14, 1941, when he did not starve to death fast enough to suit his captors.
“Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession was left unaided. Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy hear and answer me. Amen.”
As you know, Saint Maximilian was in that cell dying because he chose to sacrifice himself for the life of another prisoner. As I prayed the prayer, a thought came to me. I quickly rummaged through the “working on it” stack of paper in a corner of my tiny cell to find a copy of “Pornchai Moontri: Bangkok to Bangor, Survivor of the Night.”
Armed with that document, I made my way in the dark of early morning to the offices down below, the scene of the “crime.” At 6:45 AM, the Unit Lieutenant arrived for his shift. A fair and “by the book” man, I asked for a few minutes. In his office, I gave him the copy of that post and challenged him: “Before you decide the fate of someone under your authority, I believe you should at least know the person and what has gone on in his life.” He said he would read it.
I learned later that Pornchai, after his third fitful night in solitary confinement also awoke at 5:00 AM, and he also asked for guidance from his patron saint who also reminded him to pray the Memorare. Sitting on the concrete floor in the dark, he did the best he could going solely on memory. “You know what is in my heart, Blessed Mother,” he prayed, “and thanks to Saint Maximilian I know what is in yours.”
Three hours past, then his cell door opened. In walked Lieutenant Brown, the rolled-up article still in his hand. “Mr. Moontri,” he said. “The investigation has cleared you of culpability in this matter. After all you have been through, it is time you had a break. I’ll try to have you out of here this afternoon.”
“Where am I going?” Pornchai asked. “Back where you belong,” the Lieutenant said.
ADDENDUM
I returned from work that afternoon to a traumatized but much relieved roommate sitting on his upper bunk surrounded by plastic bags filled with the sum total of his worldly possessions. It was a while before he could speak. For the next hour, we both recounted those three days and nights from our own perspective. The saddest moment was when Pornchai told me that from the tiny window in his solitary confinement cell he could see up over a wall to the very top of the door of the cell that we live in. It only deepened his sadness and sense of loss.
After showering and sleeping – neither of which he was able to do in solitary confinement – Pornchai was up early the next morning waiting for Lieutenant Brown’s arrival down below. He asked the Lieutenant what has happened to the young man who punched him. “He is now where you were,” said the Lieutenant, “but he finally told the whole truth.” Pornchai asked if that man could be allowed to come back.
“He needs a time out for a month or two because of his behavior,” said the Lieutenant, “Why are you asking?” “Maybe I could work with him; maybe I could show him a better way,” said Pornchai. “Why?” asked the surprised Lieutenant. “It’s what someone did for me. It’s what our Mother would want from me,” said Pornchai. “It’s what I want from myself.”
AN IMPORTANT NOTE TO READERS FROM FATHER GORDON MACRAE:
We invite readers who want to receive Father Gordon MacRae’s posts to subscribe or re-subscribe at the link below. We will no longer be sending out notifications via gmail. You will instead receive a weekly reminder from These Stone Walls.
http://thesestonewalls.com/sub
Also, in honor of Saint Maximilian Kolbe who points us always to the Immaculate Heart of Mary, a special These Stone Walls Facebook Page is being launched on August 14. Please visit, “like” and follow this page set up by our friend, Esther. You may also like these related posts from These Stone Walls:
- The Man in the Mirror Nine Years Later
- Saint Michael the Archangel and the Art of War
- Saint Maximilian Kolbe and the Gift of Noble Defiance
- The Paradox of Suffering: An Invitation from St. Maximilian Kolbe
Maria Stella says
Hi again, Fr. Gordon and Pornchai-Max,
I reread your current post once again today, and this time what struck me is how much your prison guards strove to be fair in assessing the situation around Pornchai-Max’s traumatic event.
Some time back (could be a couple of years ago) you wrote about environment in which the prison staff work in the prison where you are. Since then, I have added them to my list for prayer during my one of my weekly adoration hours, though I could not add them by name, as you did not provide any names.
I am very happy to add a name to the list of prison staff that I pray for on a weekly basis during Adoration: Lieutenant Brown. May he, the Unit Sergeant, and the other dedicated prison staff of whom you write, always seek to uncover the truth, and act on it. And may Our Lord bless them as He is the Way, the TRUTH, and the Life.
Lupe says
Fr G, This post is a sobering account of your lives in that maw that is your prison! When I sent you that picture of the cell window of Maximillion Kolbe’s cell I remember that it struck me so powerfully as a symbol of These Stone Walls. I thought of the accounts of earlier men who died so long ago in that cell, screaming in despair that must have echoed throughout the camp. And then, how different were the deaths of the men who died, one by one, at the side of the Saint; singing hymns and hearing his prayers and counsels. What did the rest of Auschwitz hear from that cell window that time? Not despair, but the sounds of hope and even peace. Fr G, TSW is that window through which those of us on the “outside” hear the song of life within. Those men are so, so blessed to have you, at the cost of your life’s freedom. We thank God and his “little mother” for the work they do through you.
I do not always think to pray the Memorare, but for some reason, today I prayed it 9 times at our chapel and then came home and read your post. God bless you!
Father Gordon MacRae says
The photo of Saint Maximilian Kolbe’s death chamber cell at Auschwitz was personally taken by Lupe during a tour and then sent to me. It is one of my great treasures and I used it for this post because it has such deep meaning for both Pornchai Max and me. I will always be grateful to Lupe for this photo.
With blessings,
Father Gordon
Fr. Stuart MacDonald says
Father Gordon,
The only word to describe this post is raw. Thank you for letting us see into the reality of your life, even if the details are understated. Faith in action even in the most adverse conditions. May our Lady continue to protect you and Max with her mantle.
Fr Stuart
P.s. I LOVE the new website design.
Maria Stella says
Hi Fr. Gordon and Pornchai-Max. In the environment you are in, there is always a good probability that you will be blindsided by a terrible event, as you and Pornchai-Max were. I am so glad that Pornchai-Max is recovering, and what a great (and humbling for me) example he gives, by wishing only good for the person who did him so much harm. Truly, truly humbling.
I prayed for you both at Mass today (Feast of Our Lady’s Assumption), and also during my Holy Hour (which stretched into a couple of hours, as I unfortunately fell asleep). However, I think Our Lord understood my prayer. And my favourite seating is under a picture of the Madonna. She always seems to be looking at me, and as I gaze back from time to time, I ask her to please continue to wrap her mantle of protection around you and Pornchai-Max.
Prayers for both of you daily, with lots of agape love
MaryJean Diemer says
Hi Fr. Gordon & Max!
At Mass today, Father told us that all suffering, no matter what it is, or how it manifests itself,unites us to Jesus on the Cross. Then I read this on the feast day of the Assumption!
It is also the first day of the 45 day Rosary Novena. The evil one will keep challenging but we have powerful weapons in Our Lady and the saints like St Maximilian.
You are both prayed for every day I am at Mass that you will both be kept from harm and despair. I will add the Memorare daily also. Sending love and prayers as always, MaryJean
Vickie says
Such a great post! I’m so glad God brought the good out of this terrible trial for Pornchai and for you, through the intercession of St. Maximillian Kolbe! I will pray for his continued intercession behind these stone walls.
God Bless and keep you both!
Pauline O'Callaghan says
Fr. Gordon and Pornchai:
To think that you were both going through this terrible time just after some beautiful woodwork had been mailed!! How easy it is to lose hope for a while only to regain it once again. .I know only too well how often I have prayed these words, “Be still and know that I am God.”
I am so happy that Our Lady and St. Maximilian helped you both.
Liz says
I offered my day today for you, Fr. G, and for Pornchai, ha ha hee hee ho ho. Wow. That was quite a day! 😉
Happy Feast Day to you both. We sure prayed extra in our rosary and at mass today.
This story is beyond touching. Our Lady always comes through for you two even when things appear so bleak! I was telling some of my teens about this post and what manly man Pornchai is! He is fearless and courageous when we so desperately need that in these times, and yet what an amazing gentleman he is! He really IS a soldier for our Lady! I am so proud of Pornchai-Max!!!
God bless and keep you both, Liz
Michael Brandon says
God is so good, Father Gordon.
A young woman came to our door this afternoon selling something. In the course of chatting with her, I learned that her father is quite ill with myeloma and she loves him so much, and is worried about him.
I asked if she and I could pray for him, and during that prayer I saw Mother Mary put a mantle upon him to protect him.
I then sat down to pray a Rosary for him. When I was done, I remembered that I had not read your article for today, which I then did.
I was meant to read the article then, as I had forgotten to say a Memorare for this man Willem, which I then did.
Thank you for sharing a miracle story with us that saw Pornchai returned.
God Bless You both
Michael Brandon
M says
Thank you Father G. If anyone ever doubts the power of prayer they would change their mind after reading this post.
Chris K says
Dear Fr Gordon,
Thank you for sharing this post- for sharing this faith in action. It was particularly interesting to see that you could hand to a staff member the recounting of Max’s journey. It must seem like the prisoners are an endless parade of degenerates in the minds of the staff-but how many times to they get to hear about them as people?
God bless you and Max.
(Oh, and please tell your webmaster that the new design is spectacular!)
Chris
Michael says
A friend wished me a happy feast of St Maximilian Kolbe…and I immediately realised I I ought to go wish the same to you and Pornchai. So happy feast to you both. Sounds like St Max is hard at work together with Our Lady! This was astonishing to read, as usual. I am so grateful to God for you both, and for getting Pornchai out of his solitary cell! I will also remember Pornchai’s assailant. Please say a prayer for me.
Also please say a prayer for a relative who is struggling with mental afflictions following a concussion – he is trying to make it through school, and his school policy for time off is “reapply next year”…
Helen says
Wow……..what a way to start a day……full of tearful emotions! What a week you’ve had! What a miracle!!
Please assure Max that I am going to order a Mass for him… for his intentions….with regard to his witness
to the prisoner. I think Someone Heavenly is behind this whole thing!
Fr. Gordon, thank you for being the very you that you are. You always manage to reduce me to nothing and I think that’s what
the great God wants, isn’t it? lol
God bless you both abundantly…and maybe consider a vacation for both of you????/ lol .. yeah! laugh it up!!
Helen
Suzanne Formanek says
Of all the posts I read each week this has been the most extraordinary one! Over the years you and Pornchai have developed a loyal following and hearing this week’s episode has likely brought tears to many. Praise be to our Blessed Mother and to St. Kolbe whose intercession has brought about a profound resolution. We expect in the coming months to hear the results of Pornchai’s work and his desire to help his aggressor find a “better way” no doubt motivates us to do likewise. Thank him for all of us and we wait in anticipation to hear further. As you are likely aware, the lines are now being firmly drawn in a growing spiritual battle and troops on both sides are being recruited. We will need yours and Pornchai’s prayers and promise you ours! Blessings to you both. Suzanne Formanek
Jim. Preisendorfer says
Fr Gordon, I am shedding tears of joy for my friend Max. I haven’t been to the 33 Days of Morning Glory as I was away for a Kairos Prison Ministry Conference, a Knights of Columbus Convention and in between the death of my father-in-law, Bob Ficke but I WILL be there Sunday. Peace be with you and your spirit. Vivat Jesus. God Bless, Jim <
Helen says
Father Gordon……….what a fantastic story of Mama and Her miracles and care She takes for Her kids!
I promise to comment, later. I am so over-whelmed with emotions right now, I can’t think straight. However, I will tell you this one thing; the other day (not sure exactly which one) YOU came to mind in a more profound way than usual. So..Mama was getting the word out!
God bless you and Max…….and thank God Almighty that His will was done. And I DO believe that when He uses us…there is often hell to pay beforehand just to get our minds and hearts off the job the Lord has for us to do.
MAX, YOU GO GET THAT SOUL…….GOD IS WAITING FOR HIS ABANDONMENT.
HOLY MARY, PRAY FOR US
Helen