The Conversion of Saint Paul, And the Cost of Discipleship
Gordon MacRae Fr. Gordon J. MacRae Gordon MacRae Fr. Gordon J. MacRae

The Conversion of Saint Paul, And the Cost of Discipleship

. . . Saint Stephen, the first martyr in the Christian world, was stoned to death. Stephen was one of "The Seven" appointed to serve tables - the traditional role of a deacon - in the Church at Jerusalem. He was brought before the Sanhedrin to answer for placing final authority in Christ instead of in the high priest and Temple. The mob was stirred up against him by the Sanhedrin, and he was stoned. No one present at the stoning of Saint Stephen could have possibly predicted the transformation of Saul into the Apostle Paul. Consider this one passage and feel its chill: . . .

Read More
Protect Us from All Anxiety: Nightmares and Dreamscapes in the Desert
Gordon MacRae Fr. Gordon J. MacRae Gordon MacRae Fr. Gordon J. MacRae

Protect Us from All Anxiety: Nightmares and Dreamscapes in the Desert

. . . A few days ago, Pornchai and our friend, Donald, were in our cell talking about anxiety in prison. I told them of the awful dream I had. Donald suggested that I must feel really let down by being left to face the mob alone on the steps of the Church. Then Pornchai said, "I disagree. He wasn't alone at all." I was really thunderstruck by Pornchai's insight, and I believe he was right. The dream wasn't about the obvious source of my anxiety, the mobs pointing fingers of accusation, but rather about the fact that I am not alone in my anxiety, that Christ is there with me. How could I not see it? I see the same dark dream now in a completely different light. The next day, Pornchai brought up the "Libera Nos" prayer again, and asked me about the "protect us from all anxiety" part. It is rare that Pornchai speaks about his past, but he told me about his ongoing problem with anxiety. Living in the same cell, I have been aware of some of the times he awakens in the night in the steel bunk four feet above me, and I can feel the anxiety and pain in those times. Pornchai sleeps with his Saint Maximilian Kolbe medal hanging on the stone wall just inches from his face. I have seen him clutching it in the night. . . .

Read More