Of all the Sorrowful Mysteries a priest endures in prison, losing the ability to offer Mass tops the list. If you are Catholic, be careful what you take for granted.
The most frequent question I am asked by the readers of These Stone Walls these days is whether or not I am still able to offer Mass on Sunday night in my cell. Most readers know that for the last sixteen of my nearly 23 years in this prison, I lived in relative sanity in a place with two prisoners per cell. During that time, I was able to offer Mass late on Sunday night after a final prisoner count of the day. Many readers joined me in that time in an hour of prayer or even Adoration before the Blessed Sacrament. They joined me in spirit and in truth.
For the last eight years, my roommate was Pornchai Moontri. At first, he remained oblivious to the Sacrifice of the Mass going on late at night down below as he slept in an upper bunk. A year later, Pornchai underwent a radical conversion and was received into the Church on Divine Mercy Sunday 2010. That story was told powerfully by Catholic author Felix Carroll.
Seven months ago, as most readers know, prison officials here decided to use the cells we lived in for prisoners in the last year of their sentence. This threw our lives into upheaval as we were forced to relocate to a place with eight prisoners per cell, a very difficult way to serve a sentence of 67 years. Pornchai and I ended up in the same cell, and at the time so did our friend, Kewei Chen, and for that, we had much gratitude. As for the rest of the neighborhood, I described our new home in “Hebrews 13:3: Writing Just This Side of the Gates of Hell.”
So, the answer to the question that begins this post is no, I am not currently able to offer Mass, but this is nothing new. My first seven years in this prison were spent confined in a cell shared by eight prisoners. During those years, I had no access at all to Mass or the Sacraments. Less than 20 miles from the Chancery Office of my diocese, I was entirely cut off from the life of the Church. I wrote of this deprivation in a two-part post when These Stone Walls first came into being in “The Sacrifice of the Mass” (Part One and Part Two).
I hope you will read those posts. In any other circumstance, I would say that the current loss is a grave spiritual setback, but now I know better. There was a lot that happened in that time of deprivation that focused me on all that really matters.
Pornchai and I knew on the day we were moving in that we could no longer trust our environment to be stable from day to day. I could not risk disrespect, or worse, desecration, of the Blessed Sacrament. At best, I risked the Mass becoming a point of negative focus and contention. As the move took place near the end of October, 2016, I had to leave my Mass supplies with the prison chaplain, a Catholic deacon, for safe keeping. He had provided me with the elements to offer Mass each week for several years, but he agreed with my decision. He holds my Mass kit for future hope.
HEBREWS 13:3
We live in a place where the refuse of humanity is cast off in a prison within a prison. It is so overcrowded, understaffed and underfunded that the concept of “corrections” – which implies some restorative justice – has given way to nothing more redemptive than warehousing. To offer Mass in such a place seems such a bizarre contradiction that it would become too much of a focal point.
There is no Upper Room here. There is no Road to Emmaus, no sanctuary. My friend, TSW reader Father Joseph Coffey offered Mass in a war zone in Kandahar Province, Afghanistan – and at times even offered it for me – but Mass cannot be offered here where I live.
So, for now, we take part in a Sunday morning Mass offered by a very good Capuchin priest, age 81, who volunteers to come to the prison chapel since his retirement from parish ministry. When we first moved to this place seven months ago, Pornchai and I and one other were the only prisoners from this crowded unit who went. Now a dozen others go with us.
We – Pornchai Moontri and I – accept that our lives are filled with irony and paradox, and now our Sacrifice of the Mass has once again been sacrificed to that paradox. On the day I am typing this post, we are beginning a six-week Sunday evening retreat in the prison chapel. Ironically, it’s a presentation of The Lamb’s Supper: The Mass as Heaven on Earth, a book by Scott Hahn on the Scriptural roots of the Sacrifice of the Mass. The retreat is moderated by the same Marian volunteers who accompanied us through 33 Days to Morning Glory.
I have a friend who took an extended luxury cruise last year. From some exotic port along the way, she sent me a copy of the cruise ship’s gourmet menu. Having dined on nothing but prison food for 22 years, I stared at it in disbelief. I felt a little like the once rich man who, upon death, is tormented by a vision of the poor man’s Heavenly banquet with Abraham (Luke 16:19-31). So now our paradox continues. Deprived of the means to offer Mass for seven months, we are now to delve into its spiritual depths in the company of Dr. Scott Hahn. The book’s Introduction is by Father Benedict Groeschel who seems to be serving this prison sentence with me.
WHEN I WAS IN PRISON
I may never understand what brings people from around the world to These Stone Walls. For the last year or so, a mind-boggling weekly traffic report is printed and sent to me showing basic information about the numbers of visitors to this site in a given week. From inside this crowded, stark prison cell in Concord, New Hampshire, it just amazes us that people from Alaska to Australia and virtually every place in between are reading about us.
At the top of each report is a list of the 15 most-viewed posts of the week. I have to admit that it always feels a little strange when I struggle to finish a post in this setting, then learn that the most read post of the week was one I wrote five years ago. Very often, the number one spot, and always at least in number two, is “In the Absence of Fathers: A Story of Elephants and Men,” a post I wrote almost as an afterthought near Father’s Day in 2012. It has since been shared nearly 11,000 times on Facebook alone.
That post is about elephants and fatherhood, but it is also about prison, everyone’s least favorite topic. If I refrain from writing about prison – a place that has held me in unjust captivity for going on 23 years – it feels a bit like refusing to acknowledge the elephant in the room.
But I have learned something about the science of writing. I don’t want to give away all my secrets, but whenever I mention prison in my title, the post has far fewer readers than most other posts. I have never set out to mask what I am writing about behind a clever title, but I can see in hindsight that if a post appears at first glance to be about prison, it just drops off the radar screen.
You have to get almost all the way to the end of my “Story of Elephants and Men” before you realize that it’s about prison. So 11,000 people who got that far liked it so much they each shared it on their Facebook pages. Another post I wrote was also about prison, but you would not know that until you read all of it. That post is also one that I wrote five years ago, but it remains among the top 15 most-read posts from week to week. It is “Les Miserables The Bishop and the Redemption of Jean Valjean.” Fans of Les Miserables flock to that post still but its premise is Victor Hugo’s moving tale of the redemption of Jean Valjean emerging from 19 years of unjust imprisonment.
When I wrote my post, “Hebrews 13:3 – Writing Just This Side of the Gates of Hell” a few months back, I was totally surprised by its traffic report. It was a rather graphic snapshot of recent life on planet prison but you could not know that by the title. Strangely, it was posted unbidden by SpiritDaily.com, and readers by the thousands came to it from there. I have written many posts that are hopeful and triumphant, and Spirit Daily lets them pass by in favor of one about the dismal forebodings of prison. I don’t get it.
I may have made a strategic error a few weeks ago when I wrote openly of prison in my title, “Prisons for Profit and Other Perversions of Justice.” It’s a piece of writing that I feel in my heart the people of a just society ought to know about, but it was one of my least read and shared posts of recent months.
I think readers judged from its title that it was a political pitch for prison reform, but it was a lot more than that. One of the most profoundly moving experiences I have is when I receive letters from readers who tell me that These Stone Walls has exposed them to a world they never thought much about. Others tell me that they think a little differently about prisons or prisoners as result of what they have read and pondered here. A smaller minority are simply attached immovably to views that may not be sustained if they knew the whole truth. I do not write to change minds, or even hearts. I just write the truth.
The Catholic news aggregator site, PewSitter, shared my post on “Prisons for Profit.” and I am very proud of them for doing so. After I wrote it, I learned that the Association of U.S. Catholic Priests blocked any further notifications from TSW from coming to their mailbox. That saddened me deeply – not for me, but for them. I cannot help but wonder how many of its members have ever visited a prison, a land of the lost. Fidelity to the Gospel – as well as to justice and mercy – requires that we not simply settle for “lost.”
In contrast, I received a recent letter from Deacon David Norman of the Diocese of Reno, Nevada. Deacon Norman and his wife, Terry, have visited me in this prison – a long way from home. In his recent letter, he told me that he has become involved with an Alternatives to Violence project offered in prison, and finds it to be a deeply rewarding experience. When Jesus comes will he find faith on Earth? I hope I’m standing next to Deacon David Norman on that day!
EPILOGUE
Our friend, Pornchai Moontri, has been working diligently on a secret woodworking project in the Hobby Craft wood shop here. I was over there for an ICC meeting last week, and I spotted him shaping some beautiful black walnut for his project, so during a break in my meeting, I went over to check it out.
What I saw was simply awesome! It’s a Divine Mercy keepsake box, beautifully hand made from black walnut and maple, that he plans to present as a gift to a friend who has exemplified Divine Mercy for him. Later that day, he asked me what he might inscribe as a brief quote on the box. I made a few suggestions to him about Divine Mercy, or the Resurrection appearances, or the awe of Pentecost.
What he arrived at on his own was an unexpected quote that tells a profound story of Divine Mercy. It’s just a few simple words from the Gospel of Matthew (25:36) about the just judgment of the nations when Jesus comes again. It is one of the Gospel measurements of Divine Mercy in our hearts “When I was in prison, you came to me.” (Matthew 25:36)
Note from Father Gordon MacRae: Please assist us by sharing this post. I asked Pornchai Moontri to obtain a photograph of his Divine Mercy keepsake box which he is presenting as a gift to someone who has been the face of Divine Mercy for us. Two photos are posted below. This meticulous craftsmanship took some time, but he can make another if anyone wants to ask him in advance. You may inquire at thesestonewalls [at] gmail [dot] com
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HELEN says
If anyone is interested in having Masses prayed for Fr. Gordon, Max, Chen, or anyone, the following link will take you to a site that you may pick whatever sort of Mass you want.
*Through your generous support of Our Lady of Angels Association, you can help Vincentian priests and brothers to make a difference in the lives of thousands and thousands of people. Your generous donations will be put to use both in the United States and in foreign missions.
https://www.ourladyofangels.net/mass-intentions/
Kathleen Riney says
Thank you Fr. G.! For the Grace poured out on all those around you. Your on-going Sacrifice is like a “Grace Magnet”! 💜
I’ll be spending way less time on the ‘Net’. (at least on FaceBook)
There’s an increasing sense of “agitation”, among RC factions, & it’s distracting from Prayer time. (For me. Unlike old soldiers, old activists do not simply , “fade away”! We most likely, “stroke out!😎)
I have Posted the Prayer to Padre Pio & will be with you & all, in prayer… If my choice comes to FB or TSW, for Online time, No contest! In fact re-posting TSW is the only reason I still have a FB account…Prayers for you, Max, & all!
Pax Christi –
Kathleen
M says
Dear Father G
I will ramp up my prayers for you and ask the Divine Mercy group at our next monthly meeting to remember you permanently in their prayers from now on.
You have brought so much consolation and have helped so many of us grow in faith .
Always in my prayers
Claire says
I just emailed this to over 250 family, friends including non- Catholics and priests. I just cannot sit by and do nothing. It’s time we stand up and speak out.
Dear Friends,
It a lot to read but my friend is worth it. Friends, I have put the together and emailed this to over 250 friends because I am deeply concerned and saddened by what is happening to my Friend Fr. Gordon MacRae. He has been in prison for about 23 years—he is innocent—I will do anything to help him including emailing my friends. My connection with him began when I found out he came from Lynn MA where I lived and brought up my family. I have followed his blog for years, followed all the legal work being done to free him, exchanged correspondence with him and helped him financially ($20.00 quarterly) for a couple of years. I am horrified by the fact that he will die in prison for something he did not commit. The facts are all there on TheseStoneWalls.com. He types the articles and mails them to a friend who then posts them. Sometimes there are guest writers. I have been silent for a long time and refuse to be silent any more. If any of you would like to join me in thinking up ways we can free this innocent priest, I’m in. Love you all.
Please help me help my friend by storming heaven using the following Prayer for the Intercession of Saint Padre Pio of Pietrelcina on behalf of Father Gordon J MacRae:
Before you read his prayer request, please read the following: On September 23, 1994, Father Gordon MacRae, a priest of the Diocese of Manchester, NH, was confined to a prison cell to begin a sentence of sixty seven years in the New Hampshire State Prison. At this writing, he is 64 years old. The crimes for which he is imprisoned for life were alleged to have occurred when he was between 25 and 30 years old. Brought with no evidence or corroboration whatsoever, the claims were accompanied by monetary demands which his diocese settled for hundreds of thousands of dollars despite evidence of fraud.
Fr MacRae’s request of Padre Pio: help!
The was written by a friend priest who corresponds with him and published at Fr. Gordon’s request.
‘ Fr. Gordon is not one to ask for prayers for himself, ever. But now, it’s different. He’s asking, with reason. For two’ reasons, actually.
(1) It seems that because of recent writings of Father Gordon J MacRae (about) over on
TheseStoneWalls, there is some movement of prisoners in the prison, including in his ghetto
within a ghetto, the worst of all nightmares, where he presently lives a life sentence in 24 square feet, 2’x2’x 6’= less than the size of a coffin, in an eight man cell meant for two (wrongful
imprisonment upon false accusation, he’s still in good standing in his diocese and with the Holy
See: about). You would think that being in the worst of all worst spaces in the world would mean that the chance of being moved would bring some relief, but he might stay where he is while one of his cellmates of the past decades for whom he is about to get a commutation (please God) might be moved to a place where there cannot ever be any communication between them whatsoever. That would be terrible, as we wish that other prisoner, also our friend, Pornchai Maximilian Moontri, the best. This could happen at any time, today already, or any time in the space of the next four months or so. Meanwhile, with the movement of prisoners, there is total chaos, which brings much violence. Because of these impossible circumstances, he can no longer offer Holy Mass at all. We hope they get moved together to better housing.
(2) Knowing something of Father Gordon’s health situation (we talk almost daily), I asked him if we could pray to a particular saint for a particular ailment in his neck that he has. I mentioned that of the many special patron saints he has, whether Saint Padre Pio of Pietrelcina would be best in this instance. He agreed, admitting that, in fact, he had just last night asked the great sainted priest for help in this regard. I said that if I make a request for such a prayer in the online world it might cause a bit of a stir. I know that that’s something he intensely dislikes, not wanting to draw attention to himself, but, instead, in this instance, he agreed that the prayer request made far and wide would be good. Father Gordon J MacRae has requested a prayer to Saint Padre Pio of Pietrelcina in regard to the crippling, extensive and intense pain and disturbance in his spine and neck and now shoulders (with acute and constant headaches) with now, for very many months, a mass of somewhat movable gel-like substance that is spreading. The infirmary at the prison wont look at, but just tell him to keep them informed as time goes on. That mass started to grow from a point on his spine/neck that was crushed when he was mercilessly beaten by [some people] at the beginning of his sentence decades ago. He can no longer turn his head at all. He cannot even look downwards. It is excruciating for him to write even one word for TheseStoneWalls, much less his well written, far reaching, influential articles. I don’t know how he does it. Please share this post far and wide. See the prayer below:
Prayer for the Intercession of Saint Padre Pio of Pietrelcina on behalf of Father Gordon J MacRae:
Lord Jesus, Divine Son of the Immaculate Conception, who deigned to grant your servant Pio a share in your mercy, granting him the signs of your own passion and death so as to manifest your own priesthood to the world, also permitted that he share in the ignominy of false accusation and limitation of freedom, even in his priestly ministry of hearing confessions and offering the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, grant we beseech Thee, that by the intercession of Pio of Pietrelcina, that Gordon MacRae, now unjustly entirely deprived from saying Mass as he suffers wrongful imprisonment, might be granted this favor of offering your Sacrifice once again, and that he be completely cured of his present ailments so that he might bring
many souls to heaven. And, if it be your will, grant that he also be freed from his earthly prison.
Glory be… (x3)
More info on his case.
Father Michael Orsi, Ed.D. – Ave Maria School of Law “A sure way to ameliorate the injustices
perpetrated against priests and to rehabilitate the reputation of the Church would be to re-examine the cases of those priests found guilty due to false or dubious abuse claims filed against them. The widely reported case of Fr. Gordon MacRae of the Diocese of Manchester, New Hampshire would be a good place to start. It is quite obvious that Fr. MacRae did not receive a fair trial … What a moral boost this would be for the nation’s priests and Catholic laity if the Church in New Hampshire began a petition drive to have this case reopened!”
April 15, 2015 – Ryan A. MacDonald, Author: New York, NY “After a long awaited procedural hearing in the Habeas Corpus appeal of wrongly convicted priest, Father Gordon MacRae, U.S. District Court Judge Joseph LaPlante for the District of New Hampshire echoed earlier rulings by state courts to deny the petition without a further hearing on its testimony or merits . . . For any reasonable observer, the 1994 testimony of accuser, Thomas Grover, defies rational belief . . .There are other crimes beyond claims of abuse alleged to have occurred here – crimes of larceny, witness tampering, bribery, and perjury – and unlike the charges of abuse against Father MacRae, there is evidence to support the commission of those crimes. Justice in the light of day requires a full and complete hearing by any means possible. Is the justice system now telling us that this is the only means left?”
“Judge Joseph LaPlante Denies Priest’s Appeal,” TheseStoneWalls.com
October 2014 – Dr. Bill Donohue, Catholic League President, New York, NY
“[Father] MacRae says he is innocent. So do those who have looked into his case. Count me among them. No one has covered this story better than Dorothy Rabinowitz, a columnist for The Wall Street Journal. MacRae’s accuser, Thomas Grover, has a history of theft, drugs, and violence. More than anyone else, he is responsible for the ordeal MacRae has suffered. The sentence was obscene: It was more than thirty times what the state had offered in a plea bargain that MacRae refused . . . Why do I believe MacRae is innocent? I have read this account many times. The clincher year for me was 2012 when evidence emerged showing how manipulative his accuser was.”
Catalyst: The Journal of Religious and Civil Rights
September, 2014 – Ryan A. MacDonald, New York, NY
“Plea deals work quite well for the guilty, but for the innocent, not so much. One result of the 95% of cases resolved through plea bargains in state courts is that the guilty – who are inclined to take these ‘generous’ deals – often end up serving far less time than the innocent who cannot fathom taking such a deal. I have been writing extensively of [this] case of a Catholic priest serving 67 years in prison after refusing (three times) a ‘deal’ to plead guilty and serve only one year. Most honest observers of this case believe this man was wrongly convicted.”
The Marshall Project – http://TheMarshallProject.org
There is more info on the blog under :
These Stone Walls—On The Record: What People Are Saying
Claire
Helen says
Father Gordon……I’d like to share today’s Gospel. Like a brilliant light, the last few lines, marked with asterisks , jumped out at me. The whole reading seems to apply to this post.
Jesus said to his disciples:
“This is my commandment: love one another as I love you.
No one has greater love than this,
to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
You are my friends if you do what I command you.
I no longer call you slaves,
because a slave does not know what his master is doing.
I have called you friends,
because I have told you everything I have heard from my Father.
It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you
and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain,
so that **whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you**.
This I command you: love one another.” … Jn 15:12-17
Helen says
Dare I not mention Max on his wonderful, beautiful Divine Mercy Box. WOW, what talent.
Max, I can only hope and pray that the Great God send you out into the world, soon, enabling you to continue your great talent, for His glory. These are just marvelous as is all of your wood-working. I know! I purchased one of your clocks as a wedding gift for my daughter. EXCELLENT work, to say the least.
Also, Max, please know, in your heart, that YOU are ALSO in my heart and prayers. You make it so easy to see why, often God has to use our broken hearts to enter in. With so many of us, if there were no pierced wound, there would be no place to enter. Often, it’s the only recourse He has. But you have shown that it is thru great suffering, that gives Him opportunity to save us.
God bless, free you……and prosper you in a world you’ve not seen for a long time.
Always in my heart and prayers,
Helen
Helen says
Oh Father Gordon, this is one of your most heart-felt, heart-piercing posts. Your talent for writing puts us in that place with you. Your personal stories of day-to-day life simply breaks our hearts. I don’t think I have EVER felt so selfish in all of my life until I discovered your posts. I now see how very spoiled, on earth, I am, seeing the surreal difference between your daily life and mine. NEVER have I been so confronted with my lack of thankfulness to a dear and wonderful, generous God, Who has put me in a place of spoils. I appreciate that I think so little of what I have been given; freedom, food, friends. I can look back over my life, one in which I’ve always considered a hard one and realize, thru you, that it wasn’t as bad as I thought or as bad as it could have been.
So, to you, I owe a great amount of appreciation for showing me, in a very selfless way, how much I ought to be thanking God for what He’s given me. And, I promise, in that gratitude aimed at Him, I WILL REMEMBER YOU TO HIM.
Also, a great ‘thank you’ to Father George for his post “Fr MacRae’s request of Padre Pio: help!”
https://ariseletusbegoing.com/2017/05/18/fr-macraes-request-of-padre-pio-help/
I have started and will continue to pray the prayer he posted for you, to Padre’ Pio, on your behalf. I can relate, he’s one of my favorites too, and my adopted father.
“Lord Jesus, Divine Son of the Immaculate Conception, who deigned to grant your servant Pio a share in your mercy, granting him the signs of your own passion and death so as to manifest your own priesthood to the world, also permitted that he share in the ignominy of false accusation and limitation of freedom, even in his priestly ministry of hearing confessions and offering the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, grant we beseech Thee, that by the intercession of Pio of Pietrelcina, that Gordon MacRae, now unjustly entirely deprived from saying Mass as he suffers wrongful imprisonment, might be granted this favor of offering your Sacrifice once again, and that he be completely cured of his present ailments so that he might bring many souls to heaven. And, if it be your will, grant that he also be freed from his earthly prison. Glory be… (x3)”
God bless and thank you, Father Gordon, for teaching us to love in suffering. Now, we just need to put it into action as you do, our mentor.
Always in my heart and prayers,
Helen
Kathy Falls says
Dear Father Gordon, Before becoming acquainted with TSW, I never knew about prison life nor visited anyone in prison. But you have given me the opportunity to visit you and the other prisoners through your writing, and this has given me the opportunity to pray for you every day. I ask God to give you perseverance, peace, and to know that many many prayers are being said for you . . .so you will not feel abandoned. And that someday soon you will be freed from prison. You have a special ministry in your writing, and I thank you for it. God Bless You.
Barbara Bowman says
Father Gordon,
I read all your posts, and get concerned if they aren’t in my feed each Wednesday morning. You have educated me in so many ways. Your life reminds me so much of Jesus. Despised and rejected, unjustly accused and convicted….
None of us who aren’t priests can fully grasp what it means for you to be deprived, by virtue of your current conditions, of the ability to celebrate Mass. God has brought so much good from your suffering, but I dearly pray that your conditions change so that you can again exercise your full priestly faculties.
Carla Twigg says
Fr. Gordon;
I read your post yesterday but wanted to wait a bit to reply. First off since I do not “do” Facebook or any of that stuff I apologize that I can’t really share your posts, other than to tell people about you.
Second, you stated: “I learned that the Association of U.S. Catholic Priests blocked any further notifications from TSW from coming to their mailbox.” I have thought about this, and I don’t think the content of the post was what bothered them. I noticed in that post that you sounded more anguished and upset than in any of your previous posts. It upset me enough that I became very fearful for you. I think your post scared the Association because they KNOW that they are one comment away from joining you. Unfortunately they think if they play nice with all the “agendas” they can keep that from happening; you reminded them otherwise, and showed them the face of a true priest. To co-opt a line from a movie, “They can’t handle the truth.”
P.S. I say a rosary daily for all priests. I know priests, in particular, are under severe attack.
Sue says
Hi Father,
None of us who are not priests can understand the complete loss of one’s priestly identity that priests who are unjustly denied the right to offer Holy Mass must endure. My heart goes out to you. I feel very blessed to have access to Sunday Mass most Sundays now; but for someone who needs daily Mass, it’s still a crushing cross to carry. I will offer up some of my sufferings for you & continue praying for the full restoration of your priestly faculties. What a joyous day that will be for all of us! Will that happens, I hope you’ll invite all of us to join you at a Holy Mass of thanksgiving! Can’t wait!!
Emily says
Dear Father,
This post moved me to tears. I have been struggling to attend daily Mass, although I have the time and the ability, because it was simply ‘too hard’ for me to dress up for it the way I like to dress for Mass, and to just go. After reading your post, I will try not to take my ability to attend Mass each day and to sit with the Blessed Sacrament any time I wish ( I work in a Catholic Church) for granted. I offered my Mass for you this morning, and I will think of you when I feel the temptation to skip Mass because it is just ‘so hard’ for me to go. God bless you.
GM says
The Association of U.S. Catholic Priests? Wow! How has the Church – and particularly an organization of priests – become so Pharisaical? I’d like to think it is just inculpable ignorance on some office personnel, i.e., if they really knew what TSW is and what it offers, and who you, Fr. Gordon, are, and what the society – and the Church – has insisted you go thru, they’d judge you – and your incomparable ministry – differently. But I fear this is just another depressing sign of the great poverty of real compassion, an absolute stubborn attitude alive in the Church today toward others, but especially towards and for priests. It becomes even more scandalous when it is toward “brother priests”! There wasn’t a single word in all of the Jubilee Year of Mercy for priests. Be demanding, fine, but be compassionate, be redeeming.
The genuine, biblical understanding of mercy probably shocks a lot of people. Rather than mercy being a punitive judgment – i.e., you owe us (that’s justice)- bible mercy is focused on being rather a pro-active deliverer/FORGIVER – and this is key – a restorative person. It invites us to consider life – mine or the offenders -beyond any offense. It redresses hurt with love, not injury. In a spirit of focused, biblical empathy, the compassionate person strategizes as how to be a creative deliverer. If at all possible, mercy schemes to be an instrument of restoring the offender to humane peace and state-of-life dignity. Both JnPII and Pope Francis make it quite clear there is no honest justice possible without mercy! They have to go hand-in-hand. I’d like to believe that most priests are in agreement. It’s when they get in officious positions – and have to tow a determined or popular response – they can jeopardize their priestly hearts.
Father Jim says
Father Gordon: As a fellow brother-priest I know and understand the terrible suffering that you are undergoing by being prevented from celebrating Holy Mass. This is the core of your vocation and why God brought you into this world Like our mutual spiritual mentor, Saint Padre Pio, we fully experience the reality ” It would be easier for the world to survive without the sun than to do without Holy Mass.” For this reason there is no Holy Mass I celebrate that I do not beseech and humbly ask God that you be with me as a concelebrant in the Spirit. There is no prison official or Church official and even Satan himself can stop or deny me this awesome grace.
Maria Stella says
Dear Fr. Jim,
“…there is no Holy Mass I celebrate that I do not beseech and humbly ask God that you be with me as a concelebrant in the Spirit.”… what a beautiful request to Our Lord!
Around October of last year, Fr. Tim Moyle of the Diocese of Pembroke, Ontario, Canada posted a comment saying that each week, a priest in the Diocese of Pembroke will celebrate a Mass for Fr. G. This was in response to Fr. G writing that he could no longer celebrate Mass in his cell, given that he had moved to an 8-man cell. It is my understanding that this weekly rotation of the Mass in the diocese of Pembroke continues. How wonderful to know, that even though Fr. G cannot celebrate the weekly Mass that he used to, he is a spiritual concelebrant with you, Fr. Jim[God willing] and other priests who celebrate Mass with Fr. G in mind.
Despite the tragedy of this wrongful and long incarceration of Fr. G, it lifts my spirit to see the Mystical Body of Christ at work, bringing a non-tangible, yet very real blessing. Imagine! Fr. G spiritually concelebrating more Masses than he would be able to do physically!! God’s mercy abounds in and through his faithful priests! And you are right Fr. Jim, nobody can ever deny God’s priests the awesome grace of the Mass – not even if they take away the physical ability of a priest to do so!
Fr Jim, Fr. Stuart, Fr, G, Fr. Moyle and priests of the Diocese of Pembroke, each of you is a priest forever in the order of Melchizedek.
With gratitude for the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. ….
Maria Stella
LaVern says
Thank you, Fr. Jim, for having Fr. Gordon as a con-celebrant in the Spirit with you as you celebrate each Holy Mass. Might I plea with you to widen your humble request to include those many other priests who may not be in prison, but who have tears in their eyes because of being denied celebrating the Mass by their bishops? I can’t believe that the Father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit isn’t forgiving and full of Mercy for those men, too, but too often the hierarchy are more concerned about the media and the victim groups. Is forgiveness only for those who haven’t sin? I think not.
Jim Preisendorfer says
Fr. Gordon I just sent this message to the Association of U.S. Catholic Priests: “Your mission states: To be an association of U.S. Catholic priests offering mutual support and a collegial voice through dialogue, contemplation and prophetic action on issues affecting Church and society. Are you really promoting MUTUAL SUPPORT THROUGH DIALOGUE when you block any notifications from TSW from coming into your mailbox? This blog is by one of your BROTHER PRIESTS, Fr. Gordon MacRae, sentenced for life for crimes he was falsely accused of. You need to read about his case but most of all remember DIVINE MERCY and cease being a hypocrite.”
Peace and mercy be with you,
Jim Preisendorfer <
Concord, NH
MaryJean Diemer says
My message to them:
I would like to know why you blocked any further notifications from These Stone Walls from coming to your mailbox? I also would like to know why you have not put yourself in his shoes and realize that this could be you. Why have you turned against one of your own when you know that many of the accusations levied against priests were false. The money the church handed over is a great tool of the devil for the lies that have come forth and ruined the names and lives of many good priests. I pray that God doesn’t judge you as harshly as you have judged Fr. Gordon MacRae. May God have mercy on you when asks you what you did for those in prison and you can’t say you did anything but cause more suffering. He is more of a priest than what many of you can ever be. He ministers to those in prison with him and does God’s will there.You all, however,are the souls that Our Lord speaks of for the 9th day of the Novena of Divine Mercy,, the lukewarm. I am ashamed of you but I know that your actions are not the true ministers of the Church. I will continue to pray that you will finally get what Jesus life and death and resurrection means to your lives.
The response to both our comments Jim:
Mary Jean and Jim,
Since you both wrote about the same thing, I am sending you the response at the same time. If tsw was blocked from this email address, it is because there was not a clear identification of what tsw is. In fact, TSW stands for many different things, such as The Secret World, an online game. A lot of spam comes to this address and we try to limit it. I had never heard of These Stone Walls until today and I am not familiar with Fr. Gordon MacRae.
Blessings,
Sr. Jackie
AUSCP Secretary
To which I replied:
Please take the time to see what it is. Believe me it is very worthwhile to see. The Priests’ Association should be very familiar with Fr. Gordon MacRae.Here is the link: These Stone Walls — Musings of a Priest Falsely Accused
http://thesestonewalls.com/
Blessings! Mary Jean Diemer
Father George David Byers says
As one who assists Father Gordon in sending out a notification for These Stone Walls posts, I can say that every notification subject line is “These Stone Walls…” followed by the post title. The message itself contains a brief explanation of the post, who wrote it, and a link. We have never sent out anything simply sending out “TSW.”
MaryJean Diemer says
Sad isn’t it that they still refuse to open their eyes to the truth! God bless you Fr. George!
Charlene says
Carla, this is a terrific comment and I believe you have hit the proverbial nail right on the head. I help Father Gordon with his communications and I was the one who noticed that notifications to the AUSCP came back as “blocked.” Your comment is very astute.
charlene
Charlene says
Actually, it was the individual priests-directors of the AUSCP who blocked notifications from These Stone Walls from coming into their email accounts.
charlene
Deacon Dave says
Oh, my dear friend, I pray we may stand together again before Jesus comes. I will write soon. Blessings.
Deacon Dave & Terry
Liz F. says
Fr. G, once again, I cannot imagine what you are going through. I’ve wondered about mass, but didn’t think it was possible right now. Somehow I still had hoped that you could say it. We will keep praying. The wooden boxes that Max made are gorgeous. I’m glad he can work with the woodworking again. God bless you, Liz
Steve says
When I go before the exposed Blessed Sacrament each week, I point out to the Lord that we need all the Masses that we can get and so pray that you, Father, and another poor priest in a similar situation and whose story is like your own, may be enabled to say Mass.
William Guentner says
How very sad: “I learned that the Association of U.S. Catholic Priests blocked any further notifications from TSW from coming to their mailbox.”
Gallibus says
One hangs one’s head in shame!
Jeannie says
Dear Father Gordon,
It has been awhile since I commented. I tended to write too much…but I did pass along these pearls, no these emeralds of yours.
I was just at a luncheon with a friend -and I’ll spare you the menu, because though my bombast made it about as interesting to me as sawdust it would definitely not be kind to your deprived palate.
My friend, well into her 50s and very bright, still delicately shuddered when I mentioned what an abortion is and sort of made that now familiar gesture that this was just ‘too’, or ‘de trop’ as the french would say,horrid for polite discussion.
I attempted to use the reasoning that was given to me early on that until we saw what child labor was, until we saw what slavery was, we did nothing.
You are in such a tough situation with a post-Christian nation, where people are more up in arms about illegals who transgress violently and repeatedly, than about travesties of justice dealt to the innocent.
When you first entered prison the truth about child slavery and molestation done by others FAR away from any clergy residences, was hidden from the public. It is still largely hidden, but by some miracle of fate conversions like dear Pornchai’s are happening in both prisons AND in cities.
This age, where disdain of God and country are taught with as much enthusiasm as worship of self, pleasure and power, is loaded with all sorts of portent, but we also have centuries of spiritual wisdom to educate us on the pattern that never ceases throughout time, since that snake first successfully tempted with that apple.
I don’t know why I was raised to see all that I have, and to be able to empathize with you so readily, even though your incarceration makes my sense of imprisonment in a bone chillingly inhuman California, a thriving center of death, seem like nothing.
…but like so many of your readers it’s the thread of truth that is so mysterious and holy that makes your column impossible to read with indifference.
While you are not able to offer the Eucharist , your acceptance of this is where your sacrifice, your ‘Thy will be done’ offered, is as beautiful as that of those who have endured the most tribulation in history.
I bore you like some cackling old lady as I continually bring up that you have shone a light upon the incarceration ages ago of the last great prophet, Jesus’s cousin, Zechariah and Elizabeth’s son.
Though you may not be a carbon copy in character and experience, still this light is being shone into prisons that share through time conditions that simply do not meet the standards of cultures that consider themselves civilized.
That make us uncomfortable, because we truly wish some to go there, but we also are guilt-ridden that the truth of the inhumanity and injustice is not addressed by us, as supposedly good and upstanding Christians.
St. Michael and St. Maximillian are both your site guardians. As an angel St. Michael intercedes to bring you solace, wisdom and grace; and as a saint St. Maximillian does the same, along with providing a perfect empathy with your situation.
I go back to relying upon that phrase that sounds so trite and yet was not offered to be trite at all: God’s grace can sustain us through anything. One of my favorite saints, Bernadette, was not really keen on the illness and the pain, but she was overjoyed to be able to serve God with her relentless suffering. Apparently, her suffering, as well as the Little Flower’s, were offered up in some sort of secret pact with God to help save certain souls from damnation.
Your suffering has already resulted in something you have seen yourself: conversion of fellow prisoners.
I have a deal with God that I not know who my prayers and words helped save, leaving that for God alone to know until I (through God’s grace) I meet them in Heaven. I have a hunch that pride would be a nasty temptation if I did know. In your case I think how much love and pleasure God must be showering upon you for you to see His grace in action.
Kathleen Riney says
❣️Beautiful Max!❣️ Shared Post with comment below…
“❣️From Fr. G…No Words!❣️
(Now we See “WHY” Fr. G. was
Moved!)…Prison’s bad enough. but for a Priest to be completely prevented from Offering Mass even once a week, is Cruel & Unusual Punishment! I’m praying everyone in that Cell, & the Keepers, has a “PAUL” Conversion! (Fr. G. & Max have that Effect on those around them!😎❣️) ps:FYI–Above Post qualifies as “No Words” for a 75 yr old Irish, RC, Female.🤗❣️”
Marine Elliott says
I simply want to tell you that I love you. God bless you. I am deeply moved every time I read your posts.
MaryJean Diemer says
Hi Father Gordon!
I will keep praying that conditions will change so that you can again say Mass.
I watched the life of Padre Pio on Formed which is a great site for us Catholics.
It has movies as well as all sorts of instruction and prayer for those Catholics that
want to keep going further in faith. As I watched I kept thinking how much he was like you.
He was basically imprisoned in his own place many times and at one point could not offer Mass or offer reconciliation.
I will offer prayers especially for those priests who reject the Word of God through These Stone Walls. How sad that those that are supposed to lead have become the souls of the 9th day of the Divine Mercy Novena for they are truly the lukewarm. You can’t be a priest and pick and choose who you minister to and that seems to go on too much these days. Sadly, the devil has influenced them.
I would not feel you missed with your prison posts. We have other ways of sharing them also and they do get shared especially when your post gives the feeling more need to know.
Please tell Max his box is beautiful and aptly reflects the Divine Mercy that infuses him! God has blessed him in so ways and you too that have yet to manifest themselves.
God love and bless you all always. I pray for you all every day. Jeannie
Fr. Stuart MacDonald says
Father Gordon
I am celebrating the 20th anniversary of my priestly ordination today. What I have learned from you, in these past years, about the priesthood is invaluable to me. Thank you for your fidelity. Thank you for your ministry. To be deprived of the ability to say Mass is a cross that only a priest can understand. I will ask the Lord today at my Mass to remove this cross from your shoulders.
Fr Stuart
Liz F. says
Happy Anniversary, Fr. Stuart! Thank you for the gift of your priesthood. I saw before that you said something about St. Andre Bessette. I just love him. I discovered him awhile back when I was looking for a novena to St. Joseph. Amazingly, shortly after that I found a little relic of him in my jewelry box. Anyway, prayers for you, Father Stuart. God bless you!
Michael Brandon says
Dear Father Gordon
Our parish here in London Ontario has been undertaking a program called Divine Renovation, under the leadership of our pastor. I have known our pastor for most of 39 years, and have watched him grow in holiness and love of God, and those in his/His care.
Recently, during our Alpha Course, I saw him carrying the baby of one young couple, loving on this little child, as the child was nestled in his arms. In that moment I came to understand some of the mystery of spiritual fatherhood, of alter christus in human flesh.
With spiritual fatherhood, we are not limited to just one. Our Heavenly Father knows that we need spiritual fathers here on earth to shine His light into our lives. The readers of TSW are blessed to have you as a spiritual father, as you shine light on our preconceptions, and call us to love more and better.
Although dear Pornchai has the opportunity to be with you, and enjoy your spiritual fatherhood in your presence, we share in it as well.
Thank you for being a spiritual father to TSW readers.
God Bless You, Pornchai and all those you minister to around the world.
Michael Brandon
Clairefrommaine says
Can these beautiful Divine Mercy Boxes be purchased–I would love one.
Clairefrommaine says
Dear Fr. Gordon, Brought home Our Sunday Visitor which is in the back of the church. It ended up in a pile of papers. As I was later cleaning up I glanced through it before I threw it in the trash and there I saw the letter you wrote “Prison System Re: Incentivized Incarceration: For Profit Prisons”. Signed by Father Gordon J. MacRae. It is good that you are sharing the realities of prison life with us because many times I feel that I get more guidance from your words than I do in my own church and I can easily forget the conditions you live under. Fr. Gordon you a deeply loved and prayed for.
Ronald June says
I have shared this post on my Facebook page.
Ronald June says
The Divine Mercy box is beautiful, who would’nt love one. I have read twice your post about elephants and men and found it awesome, I shall read the post on Jean Valjean. The post about prisons for profit irritated me, but maybe that’s good. Your in my prayers, please, please pray for me. I have a new email address.
Charles D. Wright says
Scott Hahn was a guest on a radio show called “Catholic Answers” back in the day. It was instrumental in my reverting, actually converting, to Catholicism. I also read his book, “Hail, Holy Queen” at that time.
Lately I have realized that I don’t really understand that the Mass is what it is said to be. I have made a mental note to investigate it anew. In this post, you have provided me with a starting point, and that in a most timely fashion.
Thank you, Fr. MacRae.